Tuesday, January 9, 2018

צמאה נפשי

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תפילת האבק 


אני אבק
חלקיקֵי הֵאני שנהיה
מפוזרים על זמן ומרחב.
נקודות של כובד ומשיכה
המכָוונות אותי הֵנָה והֵנָה.

בַכל מָקום
וּבכל ַרגע
אוחז אני בעצמי.
קולי נשמע לי כזר
כשרגליי רוקדות בעדינות
ועיניי נעצמות
וכשבחוץ חשוך וקר.

באותו רגע
ובנקודה אחרת בזמן,
אני טובל במקווה,
נוטל בידיי את העול.
אטול ואפרוק את העול
שוב ושוב
באדיקות סיזיפית:
נימול ונרגש
אצא
מפוזר ומפורק.

ידיים זרות אוספות את האבק
איסוף עדין ואלים למוקדים שונים,
מעצבות ערימות של אבק האני.
כל ערימה היא אני
אדם הנולד מחדש
הנולד ובוהה בי
דוקר אותי עם עיניו
לעתים אף מרגיע אותי
כשעיניי דומעות.

אני לא גוש -
אני אבק.
תחושות כגרגירי חיבוקים,
מילים נטחנות לאבקת פטפטת.
תפילות במעגל סגור,
תחינות נמרצות,
ורוח באה
ומפזרת באכזריות חסרת מידות.

שוועה נפשי המפורקת:
משוך אותי,
פרוק מעליי
את עול הפיזור.
אַחֵד אותי עם עצמי.
שבור, שרוף, כבוש ובנה:
אחד נא,
אסוף נא,
מצא נא.
וכשאפנה לך את גבי,
אֶאַבֵד בתוכךָ
ואמצא את עצמי
מפוזר על כולך.   


21.7.2015

Monday, January 8, 2018

Scabs and “Erev Rav”: a Healthy Response to the Unhealthy Slurs against my being a Convert.

I am a convert. That is a fact. In addition, I have an ill-hidden penchant for disputes. That, alas, is also a fact. In recent times, mostly following political arguments, I have been labeled, by some enlightened representatives of Italian Jewry (in Italy), as both “erev rav” and as “sapachat” or psoriasis, which are the two traditional labels used by the Rabbis of the Gemara to refer to the negative effects of the presence of converts within the social fabric of the Chosen People. I will not hide the deep pain felt upon having being called those two things. But it is also clear to me today that those individuals labeled me thus specifically because of an undeniable “virtue” of converts: they force Israelites to confront themselves, indoors, with intestine criticism.

To begin my response, I wish to bring here two canonical sources in the Talmud, where converts are presented as scabs –

Babylonian Talmud, Yevamot 47b:

The Gemara analyzes the baraita. The Master said in the baraita: With regard to a potential convert who comes to a court in order to convert, the judges of the court say to him: What did you see that motivated you to come to convert? And they inform him of some of the lenient mitzvot and some of the stringent mitzvot. The Gemara asks: What is the reason to say this to him? It is so that if he is going to withdraw from the conversion process, let him withdraw already at this stage. He should not be convinced to continue, as Rabbi Ḥelbo said: Converts are as harmful to the Jewish people as a leprous scab [sappaḥat] on the skin, as it is written: “And the convert shall join himself with them, and they shall cleave [venispeḥu] to the house of Jacob” (Isaiah 14:1). This alludes to the fact that the cleaving of the convert to the Jewish people is like a scab.

Babylonian Talmud, Kiddushin 70b:

The Gemara analyzes the baraita. The Master said in the baraita: With regard to a potential convert who comes to a court in order to convert, the judges of the court say to him: What did you see that motivated you to come to convert? And they inform him of some of the lenient mitzvot and some of the stringent mitzvot. The Gemara asks: What is the reason to say this to him? It is so that if he is going to withdraw from the conversion process, let him withdraw already at this stage. He should not be convinced to continue, as Rabbi Ḥelbo said: Converts are as harmful to the Jewish people as a leprous scab [sappaḥat] on the skin, as it is written: “And the convert shall join himself with them, and they shall cleave [venispeḥu] to the house of Jacob” (Isaiah 14:1). This alludes to the fact that the cleaving of the convert to the Jewish people is like a scab.

These are just two examples of sources which present the convert as an allegorical scab on the skin of the People – the comparison is not casual of course and takes us back to Leviticus 13:2:

“When a person has on the skin of his body a swelling, a rash, or a discoloration, and it develops into a scaly affection on the skin of his body, it shall be reported to Aaron the priest or to one of his sons, the priests.”

The swelling and the scab are closely discussed in the Babylonian Talmud Sotah 5b, where they are interpreted allegorically as the physical signs of spiritual or intellectual characteristics:

“And for a sore [se’et] and for a scab [sappaḥat]” (Leviticus 14:56), and se’et means nothing other than elevated, as it is stated: “And upon all the high mountains, and upon all the hills that are lifted up [nissaot]” (Isaiah 2:14). And sappaḥat means nothing other than an appendage, as it is stated in the context of the curse given to the descendants of Eli: “Put me [sefaḥeni], I pray of you, into one of the priests’ offices, that I may eat a morsel of bread” (I Samuel 2:36). They will have to be joined with another priestly family to receive their priestly gifts. One can therefore interpret the verses discussing leprosy as teaching that one who initially is arrogant, se’et, will eventually become a sappaḥat, diminished in stature.”

The attitude of the convert is, in this conception, one of arrogance, which is then deflated, forcefully, to the status of a mere scab, an attached source of irritation of the skin – the problem is, therefore, the assumption that, as Rashi interprets on the Gemara in Yevamot 47b, the convert is an external individual who joins the people of Israel and brings with him the impurity of the alien, or of an extraneous culture:

“… converts are as harmful to the Jewish people as a leprous scab, as it is written (Isaiah 14:1) ‘But the LORD will pardon Jacob, and will again choose Israel, and will settle them on their own soil. And strangers shall join them and shall cleave to the House of Jacob.’ They shall join them, like a scab. For they hold on tight to their past conceptions and beliefs, and the Israelites the learn from them.”

There is in the Jewish tradition as strong current which conceives of Jewishness and the bond between the people and the Divine as exclusive: there is a Jewish culture, with its tradition, its borders its limits, its regulations, and its interpretational rules. And then there is the rest of the world, persistently trying to endanger that exclusivity and strenuously trying to challenge or even knock down the cultural uniqueness of Israel. Yet, there is a less prominent current which perceives Jewishness as a constantly developing concept vis-à-vis the presence of “others” – the Torah is filled with references to the importance of those “others” and I have already written on this matter on Pagine Ebraiche International. One of the few commentators who sees things differently is the Rosh (Asher ben Jehiel 1250-1327) providing the reader with a different perspective on the harsh opinions presented by the Tosafot in their commentary to Yevamot 47b: “For they [the converts] are not well formed in the rules and regulations, and eventually the Israelites learn from them their wrong praxis.” 

The Rosh writes in response:

“… some argue that they [the converts] cause the Shechina [Divine Presence] to leave the people of Israel due to their presence within the people, and God places his Divine Providence only upon families with deep roots. This is in no way true: for converts deserve to have Divine Providence placed upon them…” 

The problem, continues the Rosh, is not in the converts, but in the people of Israel themselves – because God provided an overwhelming number of rules and regulations with regard to converts and to the ways in which Jews-from-birth are required to respect them and safeguard them, the latter naturally have a great difficulty in accepting these aliens and thus come to see them as scabs and not as part of the people.


Yes, my fellow Jews, I am a "scab." And I will continue to present you with the uncomfortable perspective of one who is both within and without, both part of and alien. And you will continue to see me as erev rav, as a scab, as a painful infection. Indeed. And as long as you see me as an infection, you will be the infected one, and I will be merely forced to wait a little longer, for a more enlightened group of people who will finally be able to accept the existence of theological, halachic and yes, political ideas different from theirs. Converting is not a process of homologation into a cohesive body, but is, rather, the archetype of Jewish cultural and ethnic variety – a convert brings difference. And if one is unable to accept the challenge of confrontation, that difference will always be a painful and unpleasant scab on its unhealthy ideological skin.